Monday, July 04, 2005

Kingdom of Heaven.

If you have seen this tripe you will know exactly what I'm talking about.

How many times did Orlando Blooms character die and then magically re-appear unscathed and poised for battle? More than you'd care to know.

Does anybody know who the female character was? Her eyeliner would have made thousands of pandas green with envy, yet at no point in the movie were her parched lips given a wisp of moisture or colour.

Now Ridley Scott is no amateur when it comes to glorious fight scenes and heroic leading men. Gladiator will remain to this day one of my favourite movies.

Yet in Kingdom of Heaven he gets it a wee bit skewiff. In a two hour movie set in the middle east, I saw 5 billion horses and only ONE camel. ONE camel I tell you.


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